Iron Man cross-stitch. Work in progress. Will be 8×10 and 70k stitches when complete!
I’ve been a little slow to start on my reading challenges for 2016, let alone finding time to write more than one sentence at a time. Call me distracted, I’ve been working on a cross-stitch of Iron Man, an American Flag full size crochet quilt, trying (and failing) to launch a handicrafts store, Leslie A Curry-Handicrafts, Crochet, and Mosaic, and trying to manage a chaotic phase of life. What better way to multi-task while reading than to use an audiobook? Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed had been highly recommended by one of my girlfriends a couple of years ago, so when it was available through my public library’s electronic catalog, I decided it was time to give it a go.
Why this book and why now:
I started listening to this Wild (315 pages) as a distraction during a dental appointment for a crown prep. A few minutes in, and I wasn’t sure it was the right choice. Graphic detailing of toenails falling off didn’t help much to distract me from the pain and discomfort of the drilling happening in my mouth.
The story of Cheryl’s relationship with her mother and the process of losing her pulled me in for what I anticipated to be a much different story. Many of the details of this book have left me since I read it back in January, but much of what I remember has to do with Cheryl making one mind-boggling decision after another in regards to her personal safety. I understand that Cheryl was dealing with depression and perhaps some PTSD after her childhood experiences. I wish more of the book and self exploration acknowledged these traumas. Instead, Cheryl continued to put herself in one dangerous situation after another without drawing any understanding to the idea that she was actually perhaps suffering from some very big emotional issues. I was mystified that while waiting for a DJ she just met at a random club to get off work for their “date” that she willingly went into a strange man’s van to smoke weed. After which she traipses off with the DJ to his house way out in the middle of nowhere to hopefully have sex. All the while, no one knew where she was or who she was going with. This is after she dabbled with heroine or meth after leaving her self-admitted very good husband.
I understand that everyone’s personal journey is different and that the ways we each cope with stress, anxiety, depression, joy, fear, you name it, can be expressed or experienced in absolute contradiction to how another copes. I wish for Cheryl, that she had had someone who would have helped her find a safer way to deal with her mother’s death and need for self discovery. I’m still trying to understand why Cheryl felt it was acceptable to cause her body so much harm and pain in forcing her way through the PCT. Many of her stories in the book graphically describe her feet that were mangled, scabs and bruises that took weeks to heal, drastic dehydration. This is not heroic in my opinion, this is self-mutilation.
I am glad for Cheryl’s sake that her story has a peaceful ending. I’m grateful that for all the seedy situations she put herself in, she walked away unharmed by another human during her trek.
Recommended reading for: This is not a book I would recommend, however, if you are looking for a memoir about a young woman who is able to come out the other side of some questionable choices, then you might want to give this one a try. I’d recommend two books on a similar topic before this one: The Glass Castle: a Memoir by Jeanette Walls or The Girls’ Guide to Hunting and Fishing by Melissa Bank
The final word: I’m certainly glad I experienced Wild as an audiobook. Had I been reading it in book form, I am almost certain it would have been added to my “won’t ever finish” list on goodreads.
So about that promised review of Marie Kondo’s The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, I suppose it is past due. And those promised photos? Didn’t happen. Here’s why. I didn’t find the book as helpful as I had hoped. I didn’t like reading the book, it took me six months to finish and it would have been longer if I hadn’t been trying to beat my friend (see his book blog here) in our annual book challenge. The very top of the trees concepts of only keeping things or buying things that truly bring you joy were certainly worth some meditation. The writing in this book? Left much to be desired, I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to “lost in translation”. I believe this book is better classified as a memoir than an actual self-help book. Most of the book is spent reflecting on Kondo’s own life and thoughts rather than the practical application of her technique.
The most helpful part of the book was the revelation that some (read: many) of us were never actually taught how to tidy. This point was a bit of a gut check as I recalled how often I reprimanded my sons for not tidying their rooms well enough. Shortly after reading this passage, I did a little decluttering session with my 9 year old and his dresser drawers. I sensed he was keeping some clothes only because he thought I wanted him to keep them, so I set the record straight. I told him to clean out all his drawers and only keep the items he knew he would wear and the ones he really liked. We went through each piece of clothing together and when I thought he was keeping it to please me, I reminded him he would not offend me by making his room more pleasing to him. We got rid of a lot of clothes! It also helped me to see what sort of style he preferred.
We were so successful with his clothes, my husband and I set to work on all the books in both of our sons’ rooms. We emptied both of their bookshelves onto the kitchen table. MOUNDS of books! I knew we had a lot, but it was a little shocking to see it all laid out. And wouldn’t you know, we had duplicates! Books, especially books in the library of my growing and varied children, are hard for me to let go of, however by making my boys part of the process we got rid of two paper boxes of books. This lead to them reading more on their own since their book shelves weren’t busting at the seams, ready to spill on top of them lest a jenga tile be removed too quickly.
Speaking of books, Kondo’s whole section dedicated to books was one section that provided a new outlook on decluttering my library. A couple of Kondo’s observations worth mentioning:
“You read books for the experience of reading. Books you have read have already been experienced and their content is inside you, even if you don’t remember it.” Page 89
Books to Keep “The most difficult ones are those that give you moderate pleasure–those with words and phrases that moved your heart and that you might want to read again.” Page 93
Since starting this blog (and my reading notebook, the source of most of this content), it has become much easier to pass along a book. I have captured the emotions the book made me feel. And I have a very tangible, detailed list of what I have ready, why I have read it, what it has taught me. My bookshelves are lighter since starting this blog because I am able to “keep” those parts of the books that have changed me.
“The moment you first encounter a particular book is the right time to read it.” Page 95
The final word: This is not a book I particularly enjoyed reading. It is only because of writing this post that I realize how much I did in fact learn. Ideally, Marie Kondo’s newest book, Spark Joy will address some of the practical implication parts that were missing from this book. This book is a good fit for someone just getting started with decluttering or who does not have a lot of practice with minimalism. Other Selected Quotes:
“Order is dependent on the extremely personal values of what a person wants to live with.” Page 6
“I’m sure many of us have been scolded (during our childhoods) for not tidying up our rooms, but how many of our parents consciously taught us how to tidy as part of our upbringing?” Page 10
“You only have to experience a state of perfect order once to be able to maintain it.” Page 30
“We should be choosing what we want to keep, not what we want to get rid of.” Page 41
“It is actually our rational judgement that causes problems.” Page 59 Malcolm Gladwell wrote an entire book on this concept Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking. I listened to it as an audiobook in 2014.
“The true purpose of a present is to be received. Presents are not “things”, but a means for conveying someone’s feelings.” Page 108
Started May 18, 2015
Finished May 30, 2015
Pages: 380
Brief synopsis: Middle school student Willow Chance was adopted as an infant. She’s an exceptionally intelligent child with a deep love and understanding of plants and medicine. Willow gets abruptly “repotted” due to a family catastrophe. Surrounded by new found friends, Willow learns how to replant herself while inspiring others along the way. Her favorite number is 7, will it prove to be lucky?
Why this book and why now: My grandmother passed away on May 16. Feeling out of sorts and realizing I hadn’t read a book in three weeks due to ICU visits, I went to my local library. This is where Willow Chance, the main character of County by 7s and I found our first connection because “books=comfort, to me anyway.” (page 151). The librarians at our local branch are wonderful! Through the years, our family has built a great relationship with our librarians and they know just what our family is looking for when we ask for a referral. When I explained my heartache and the recent passing of my grandmother, one of my favorite librarians quickly pulled Counting by 7s, a juvenile fiction piece, off the shelf. I’m told that the fact that she shares the main character’s name had nothing to do with the referral.
Within the first few chapters, the main character is dealt a shocking loss. I almost put the book down at this point, this is not what I had in mind for distracting myself from the still fresh loss of my grandmother. However, I trusted my librarian’s referral, so I pushed through the emotion.
One of the great themes of this book is that even as Willow Chance is aching and trying to find a new normal, she was also inspiring others. She was making the lives of other people better even though her world was the worst it had ever been. The impact of this lesson is enhanced by the fact that Willow doesn’t even realize she’s having such a profound effect on those around her. I think it is that way for all of us. Just by being the person we are and dealing with adversity the way we have learned to and are wired to, leads others to have strength and courage even when we feel like we have none.
After the decision was made to take my grandmother off of the ventilator that she had been on for a week with no improvement, the hardest part was the waiting. Those five hours in the waiting room could have easily been as many days. So when I read this quote from Counting by 7s, “A second can feel like forever if what follows is heart break.” (Page 351), I knew exactly what she meant. No one wants to hurry heartbreak, so somehow we manage to make those seconds feel like minutes, the hours to feel like days. That’s probably why it’s so quite when a person is waiting for heart break. Again, young Willow said it best, “And that is why the deepest form of pain comes out as silence.”(Page 175)
There is one final quote that made me stop and meditate on the truth of it. It is, right now, one of my favorite sentiments. “I’m not brave; it’s just that all other choices have been thrown out the window.” (Page 360) I love the sense of resiliency that this quote made me feel, especially as I reflected on the events of the past couple of weeks. The idea behind this quote, that even when you feel the situation is scary and new and unpleasant, there is always bravery. There is always a chance to move past the experience by facing it head on, with a sense of power and control.
Recommended reading for: While this book is typically recommended for 4-6 graders, this book is also an excellent read for adults. It gives us a perspective on the impact adults have on their children and the children that enter our lives in many different ways. For adults it also provides us an opportunity to reflect on the way we are impacted by children.
If your young reader is going to give this one a read, I do recommend you read it as well. There were a few concepts that might cause some anxiety to children who are on the younger end of the spectrum. For instance, a young reader may benefit from an explanation that the chances of becoming suddenly orphaned are not that great. There are lots of opportunities to discuss why certain families or people make the life choices that they do. The book also opens the door for parents to celebrate their own child’s unique interests. Willow’s uniqueness and her confidence are what help to inspire change in so many others.
The Final Word: Counting by 7s is a book I look forward to sharing with my sons as they get older. It is also a book I look forward to rereading with them. Certainly worth reading if you are looking for great writing, a thought provoking story, and a little inspiration.
New words learned: Onomatopoetic (page 10) -The creation of words that imitate natural sounds
Chiropterophily (page 23) – Pollination of plants by bats
Dysphagia (page 125) – medical term for not being able to swallow
Crypsis (page 153) – hiding
Selected quotes: This one inspired me to clean out my sons’ pajama drawers, low and behold we probably had enough PJs for each kid on our block! Their grandparents seem to also like gifting “cozy” PJs.
“From my observation, the older you get, the more you like the word cozy.
That’s why most of the elderly wear pants with elastic waistbands. If they wear pants at all. This may explain why grandparents are in love with buying grandkids pajamas and bathrobes.” (Page 33)
These quotes very much resonated with me during this particular time in my life experience. I wanted to share them with you in hopes that they might provide you the same sense of not feeling quite so alone.
“I’m hiding in plain sight, which is often the best way to be concealed.” Page 153
“And that is why the deepest form of pain comes out as silence.” Page 175
“Just being there is ninety-nine percent of what matters when your world falls apart.” Page 175
“A second can feel like forever if what follows is heart break.” Page 351
“I’m not brave; it’s just that all other choices have been thrown out the window.” Page 360
morethanabookreview 